SpicyBugz World

The  parish priest went on a fishing  trip.
On  the last day of his trip he hooked a monster  fish and proceeded to reel it  in.
The  guide, holding a net, yelled, “Look at the size of that Son of a  Bitch!”
“Son,  I’m a priest. Your language is uncalled for!”
“No,  Father, that’s what kind of fish it is – a Son of a Bitch fish!”
“Really?  Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!”
Once  in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster.
“Father,  that’s the biggest Son of a Bitch I’ve ever seen.”
“Yes,  it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it?”
“Why,  eat it! Of course You’ve never tasted anything as good as Son of a  Bitch!”
Elated,  the priest headed home to the rectory.
While  unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip.
“Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!”
Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, “Father!”
“It’s  OK, Sister. That’s what kind of fish it is, a Son of a Bitch  fish!”
“Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that  big Son of a  Bitch?”
Sister   Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was  scheduled to visit in a few days and that they  should fix the Son of a Bitch for his  dinner.
“I’ll  even clean the Son of a Bitch,” she said.
As  she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked  in.
“What  are you doing  Sister?”
“Father  wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for  the new Bishop’s  Dinner.”
“Sister!  I’ll clean it if you’re so upset! Please watch  your  language!”
“No,  no, no, it’s called a Son of a Bitch Fish.”
“Really?  Well in that case, I’ll fix up a great meal to  go with it, and that Son of a Bitch can be the  main course!”
“Let  me know when you’ve finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch.”
On  the night of the new Bishop’s visit, everything  was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent  meal.
The wine was fine, and the fish was  excellent.
The  new Bishop said, “This is great fish, where did you get it?”
“I  caught that Son of a Bitch!” proclaimed the proud  priest.
“And  I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!” exclaimed the Sister.
The Friar added, “And I prepared the Son of a Bitch using a special recipe!”
The new Bishop looked around at each of them.
A big smile crept across his face as he  said,
“You  Fuckers are my kind of  people!”

Blog post written by Kristy Bostick.

Were you born in the south, but now live in a busy city like New York? If you are, then I can truly relate! I was born in the south and absolutely loved my mother’s southern cooking. There is nothing like meals in the south to make you feel comforted and at ease. Moving to New York City, my most challenging obstacle has been living without my mother’s southern cooking. However, watching my favorite chef Paula Deen on the Food Network has helped to make my transition a bit easier!

I love watching Paula Deen whenever I get a chance on my directTV satellite TV. She is the epitome of a good southern cook! Even though everything she creates is either sugared or fried, I love it. She creates some of the most delicious and soulful dishes out of anyone on the Food Network! If you live in the city, then getting recipe ideas from Paula Deen can be the way you keep your southern roots alive.

Just because you live in a city does not mean you have to abandon your taste for southern food. The truth is that you can create your favorite southern dishes by watching Paula Deen on the Food Network. Her dishes can be easily created by just paying attention when you watch her show. To Paula Deen, I must say thank you for making my transition to the city much easier!

I think I am a glutton for punishment!  Either that or I am just simply retarded.   You all know, that raising children again at my age is no easy task.  Life is hard and I am tired, no doubt about it.   So what do I go and do….I invite my 13 yr old grand daughter and my 12 yr old niece to come and spend the weekend with us.   Please someone smack me upside the head and knock to get my brain wheels rolling again, because apparently, my brain doesn’t work right anymore.

Friday wasn’t toooo bad.  All the kids played kinda nicely together without too many blow ups.   Remember there is a huge difference between 13 and 4 and 2!   Saturday I heard a bit more yelling.  Sunday…I wanted to pull my freaking hair out, and by Monday I wanted to put a bullet in my head, or grab some rv insurance and get the hell out of Dodge!  I couldn’t wait until my husband got home from work, as soon as he got in the door, I said…Take them home…take them home right now..ohhhhh Please take them home.  He did.

Mini Bug who is 4 yrs old, is just learning the art of sharing, and she is failing miserably.  Everything is mine mine mine.   We have been working on this for some time now.  Now that school is over, and she doesn’t have any children her own age to play with, I “thought” it would be a good idea for her to have company and other kids to play with, and help her with her social skills.  Would you believe that the 12 and 13 yr old fought with her over every single toy she owns…which is ALOT.   There were toys spread from one end of my house to the other.  This is a huge house, and it was a lot of toys.  Small children toys!!!! The teens were fighting with a 4 yr old over children toys.   Arrghhh.   For the most part, I kept my mouth shut and tried to let them settle it themselves.   Mini Bug has to learn to share, and that is the bottom line.   I really didn’t expect a whole 4 days of constant fighting though, and the older kids were just as bad as the little one.    Mini Bug does love them a lot, she just doesn’t want them playing with her stuff…the little diva.

I am going to bed now, with a throbbing headache.  I have half the house cleaned up, and the rest can wait till tomorrow.

On top of all of this….we are having the 4th of July family picnic at my house this year….that’s a post coming soon.

Written by guest blogger Amanda Kilner.

While everyone is vulnerable to the criminally minded it is well known that a female living by herself can present an especially inviting target.

If you are a woman on her own the first and most basic way to stay safe is to keep doors and windows locked at night and make sure you have a Florida business alarm. Deadbolt locks that are saw and drill resistant are a good choice. If you are a renter be sure to specifically ask the landlord to change the tumblers on the locks on your door.

Another very, very important tip; keep your shades down anytime you are undressed. Any cop will tell you that criminals and rapists do not work on a set schedule and are always on the lookout for vulnerable victims and spying on a woman home by herself who is in a state of undress willl only give them further provocation. Also, darkened, privacy-inducing window screens may be a good investment.

You can also make sure your outgoing voicemail or answering messages states, “We are not home right now…” instead of just “I”. Also, if you have subscribed material coming to your house make sure only your first initial appears on the address label. The point is to try not to advertise that you are a female and you are the only one in the house or apartment.

Some women, whether or not they own a dog, make sure to have a very large dog food bowl and huge spiked collar sitting in full view from the vantage point of their back door. Do further research as there are good books and websites that offer simple and effective tips on personal safety.

Guest post written by Jonathan Snipes:

Playing chess was something I started doing later in life when I got a computer. I always thought that it looked fun, but a little too complicated for me.

But when I finally got a laptop I decided to figure out all its bells and whistles, including a program to play internet chess with other players from across the world. I did a tutorial and got lots of practice.

It didn’t take long for me to become completely obsessed with it. Many nights I’ll stay up late until 1 or 2 in the morning playing against strangers. But what I can’t stand is when my wireless goes out and interrupts a games, which makes my player rankings suffer.

A while back I switched to Clearwire Internet Service and that seemed to fix my connection problem. I guess a reliable Internet provider is important for emergencies and checking your work e-mail inbox and stuff like that, but I’m most happy that my chess game isn’t compromised.

A friend gave me an actual chess set for my birthday a year or two ago and I played some against her with it. But I’d much rather shop online while waiting for the other player to go his turn.

My youngest sister (who isn’t actually so young anymore) is down here with her children.   She is planning on taking our parents back to South Carolina as I talked about before.  They are going to finish cleaning and painting the house and then put it on the market.

I showed her the site I was talking about the last time, http://www.myrtlebeachseasideresorts.com and she agrees with me, that this would be the perfect place for our parents to stay at while they are down there.

The best part is the golf packages that they offer . My step dad loves to golf. Even at 72 he still golfs 3 times a week. My sister’s husband loves to golf also.

So, as I type this, she is on her laptop checking out, www.myrtlebeachseasideresorts.com, and possibly making the reservations.
As I told you all the last time, I love this place. It’s right on the ocean, and I always insist on staying right on the ocean when we vacation. It’s so much easier when you have children. You can play with the kids on the beach, and when it gets to be too much “fun in the sun” you can go right back into your hotel room. Very convenient and practical. This place looks lovely, the rooms are nice and big and airy. They offer 1, 2 or even 3 bedroom condominiums with fully equipped kitchens. I can’t wait until I can go myself!

Guest post written by Gail Hoover:

I thought I was used to extreme weather after living most of my life in Madison, Wisconsin, but I had a rude awakening when I moved to Florida after I retired. I knew it was supposed to be humid there, but I still hadn’t prepared myself properly.

To make matters worse, the air conditioning unit in the condo I just bought wasn’t working well enough, for my taste anyway. So I looked into Sears heating and air conditioning and got some people to come out and install a new system. I was so glad to stop sweating indoors and be able to sit in a cool environment that’s a little closer to what I’m used to.

I also started inviting some of my neighbors and people from my book club over to sit and chat, and play some backgammon. I didn’t really know that many people here before I moved and my family is still in Madison but I’m looking forward to my son and his kids coming and visiting me during their summer vacation in a month or so.

A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United
States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and
says, “Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving
me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!”

The passerby says, “You are mistaken, I am a Mexican.”

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. “Thank you for having
such a beautiful country here in America .”
The person says, “I not American, I Vietnamese.”

The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops,
shakes his hand, and says, “Thank you for wonderful America !”
That person puts up his hand and says, “I am from Middle East ..I am
not American.”

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, “Are you an American?”
She says, “No, I am from Africa ..”
Puzzled, he asks her, “Where are all the Americans?”
The African lady checks her watch and says, “Probably at work.”

My parents are headed back to South Carolina next weekend to help my sisters finish painting and doing some minor work to their fathers house.  He died 2 years ago, and they still haven’t got the house finished to put on the market.  I am totally amazed that my mother and her husband would actually go anywhere near that house. My mother divorced him about 25 years ago and has never spoken to him again.  As some of you know, he was a cruel and mean man. I guess now that he is gone, all my mother really cares about is helping my sisters get the house on the market.  My sisters have been paying the mortgage on that house for 2 yrs now.  I think they should have gotten all of this done a lot sooner, but it’s not my problem. He might have raised me, but he wasn’t my dad.

So, like I said, my parents are headed back down next weekend.  They said they don’t mind helping but they do not want to stay in that house.  So, I looked on line to find a nice place for them to stay while there.   One of the places I e-mailed them to look at was http://www.seasidemb.com.

As far as making Myrtle Beach hotel reservations this place appears to be the best. My parents use computers, but aren’t really computer savvy, but even they will be able to navigate around and be able to make reservations at seaside.

After looking around their site, if I am ever interested in Myrtle Beach Accommodations this is really a place I would be interested in. It’s right on the ocean, which is what I always prefer when I am vacationing on the beach, and the rooms look great! Actually if they were going for any other reason, I wouldn’t mind going with them myself. This place really looks nice.

Guest post written by Michael White

One of my favorite holidays is coming up which is Father’s day. If you knew my dad you’d understand why, he is the go to man for everything. He doesn’t just fix everything I need him to but he tries to teach me what he’s doing as he does it. It’s a big challenge shopping for him because he has every tool ever invented which is why I try to stay on top of new tools that come out. I personally don’t like shopping in stores close to any holiday because of how over crowded they get and standing in long lines is not how I’d like to spend my Saturday afternoon. Shopping on the hughes internet is much more convenient and I get to see new items that I may not have seen in a store. It’s amazing that we get such a good reception living in a rural part of Alabama. We can go anywhere and get satalite internet in AL. The plus side of shopping is that I get to drink a cup of coffee, while browsing on my satellite internet in my pajamas. I’m browsing right now. The best piece of advice I’d give any shopaholic is to make sure you leave enough time for delivery. I had a bad experience last year that I would rather night repeat again. I just snagged the best father’s day gift for under $100 it is the new Dremel Trio Tool kit from Home Depot. I can’t argue with that even if I try. Another gift that my dad loved was hughes packagesfor wireless internet.