SpicyBugz World

As you all can see, I put a donation box up to try to help us with the adoption of our little angels. Things are starting to get sticky and it needs to be done as soon as possible. The BL mother is showing all signs of cracking again. Which means another long dance in the state mental hospital. That makes adoption tricky. The father is looking at jail time. We just don’t have the money we need to get this done. It needs done. So, I love these kids enough that I will swallow my pride and ask. Please help me raise the money to get this adoption done and over with so these kids are safe and secure for the rest of their lives, and so that their BL parents can’t screw with their little heads more than they have already done. The BL mother isn’t even allowed alone in the same room with them, that is just a glimpse at how bad it was and how scary it was. She has wanted Mini Bug dead from almost the day she was born. I could go on, but please just trust me on this one, it needs done asap. Even a dollar can help, if each of my visitors donate a dollar, that would raise a whole heck of a lot of money. I would be able to get this done quickly. Actually your not really helping me, your securing the lifes of two very small children. Thank you, God Bless.

Maybe one of my super duper friends could make me a banner or something that I could give away as a token of my appreciation.  Hint hint   Love you guys.

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It’s late and I just went in to check on the little ones.  They are so beautiful when they are sleeping.  I sigh at the miracles that they are.

Three years ago, I would never have imagined that I would be raising children all over again.  Babies.  I would never have dreamed that I would be a mother all over again and continue to raise children until I die.  Because really that is the cold hard facts of this.  I am no spring chicken, (at least that’s what my bones keep telling me) and I will be old when they are teenagers.  Yes they are blessed to have me, but I am also blessed to have them.

Some days are hard, I mean, oh my Gawd hard, and I think to myself, what in the world are you doing this for.  But that thought only lasts for a fleeting second.  All it takes is one I love you mommy or a kiss or one of their silly grins to melt my heart, and I know exactly why I am doing this.  Because if I didn’t….they would have been adopted out to strangers as young babies.   That couldn’t happen, not while I am still breathing.

So, while I didn’t give birth to these children, they are my blood and they came from my heart.  I am their mommy in every meaning of the word mommy.  They own me heart and soul.  I would sacrifice everything for them.  I think I might have already sacrificed my sanity…but heck, whose to say whats sane or not anymore huh.

Mini Bug is now 3 1/2 and she is really developing her own personality. I can understand more and more of what she says, and she might be president one day, because she sure has the gift of gab. Or maybe a college professor because she can go on and on, and most of the time nobody knows what in the heck she is talking about. Mini Bug has been close to me since she was born, she came to live with me permanently when she was 11 months old. I have loved her before she was even born. She stole my heart from the first moment I held her. She is the only girl from my immediate family. I had 3 sons, all of my other sons, had sons. This is the only girl. Of course she is special!

Mighty Bug..well, he is going to be a little heart breaker. That boy is cute and charming. He has a smile that could melt a glacier. Very loving little boy, that appears to be a fast learner. But then he has an advantage, he has an older sister to watch. He will learn faster because of her. Mini Bug didn’t have that. It’s hard to believe that the baby’s 1st birthday has come and gone. He is 14 months old today. Oops yesterday as it’s after midnight and already the 5th. I had him since he was less than a month old. It took that long to get him because I moved out of state and the courts had to draw the paper work up so everything was nice and legal. The first time I looked in his eyes, I knew, I just knew, he was my son. Again, not from my body, but from my heart and soul. Yes my son and his gf made these precious angels. But God gave them to me to raise and protect.  Which I do willingly with love.

The day will come when I have to decide whether to tell them the truth or not.  It will all depend on their frame of mind, and how they grow.  As of now, I feel that it is the right thing to tell them when they are old enough to understand.  I see no need to get into all the horrible details, just the facts.   Time will let me know the correct decision to make.

We are trying hard to save the money to officially adopt them.  We have permanently legal custody of them right now, and that’s ok.  But we want the children to grow up with a sense that they are in a normal family.  I don’t want them to think they are different from other children.  I want them to have a mommy and daddy raising them..not a grandmother and grandfather.  So, we are saving, because it’s very very expensive, more so than we thought.  Or should I say, it’s more expensive down here in Florida then it would have been back home in PA.