SpicyBugz World

Mighty Bug is having a ruff night.  Very fussy, and waking up every hour crying.  Probably teething again. Gave him some Tylenol, hope that helps.  I am so freaking tired, I am getting bags under my eyes…that’s so not good.  I swear they tag team me..one night its Mini Bug who wont sleep, the next Might bug.  I’m at my wits end for sure on this sleeping problem.

So, I am sitting here, waiting to go to bed, waiting for my little ones to finally call it a night and sleep so that I can go to bed.  I am sitting here in the living room, in the dark, and feeling sorta melancholy.  For the past month or so, I have  had a deep rooted sadness inside of me that  I can’t seem to shake.  To make matters worse, I came across this video, that took me back to 1978, while I was married to my first husband, dirt poor and living on top of Bakerstown hotel, in a one room efficiency, with a shared bathroom.   I worked evenings as a waitress when they had a band, and during the day I would play pinball in the bar.  Life was hard, and easy at the same time.  I was too young and stupid to know any different.  All I knew was I was in love.  I was in love with the devil tho, who beat me beyond recognition more times then I can remember.   Long story short, he was killed, shot in the chest twice and left me with 2 little boys to raise alone.   While I would play pinball in the hotel bar, this is the song  that seemed to be played a lot.   When I hear this song, the memories come shooting back at me like it was just yesterday.   Some memories hurt to much to be remembered and if God really was merciful, he would erase them from the hardrive in my brain.  Oh the stories I could tell you all…the life I have lived is rather amazing.  I suppose the fact that with everything I have been thru in my life, the fact that I am still alive to tell is a miracle.

and this one…the two songs that constantly were played back then.